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T: X Japan was very popular and we
know that many fans were very passionate. I guess that everything went
on as well as when you were X Japan. What did you think about this?
Y: I would rather say that I made everything going well. I kept my
purpose high and push to reach there.
I'm quick at making songs but it takes time for me to do the recording.
I usually make songs with just score and pen. It's rather a classical
way. I make a song having clear image, but, when I start recording,
it's a compromise work because it's hard to do recording exactly the
same as what I have in mind. There are difference between the song in
my mind and the recording one.
N: Pata says: "We are good friends. We were like a family.
YOSHIKI is a rowdy son. hide is mother. I'm grandpa. Toshi is a
relative, I think. And Heath is younger brother".
N: X Japan broke up in 1997 -one of the reason is Toshi's secession from
X Japan. YOSHIKI and Toshi were a childhood friend. They had been for
27 years, then suddenly they started to walk to the different
direction.
T: Have you imagine that X Japan would break up some day in the future?
Y: I thought X Japan was forever because we were like a family and
family exists forever. We drank and ate together even after the
concert.
T: What did you think or feel when Toshi said he wanted to leave X
Japan? I heard you said "ok" at once.
Y: At first I thought it was because of me. I have an ideal voice in
my mind. Though Toshi might have his own opinion or intention of how
to sing, I strongly forced my way to Toshi. I didn't listen to his
opinion. But Toshi usually satisfied with our work after the recording.
SomehowI used his voice as a tool. Toshi sang 1 hour, then I edited
his voice for 10 hours. So I know about Toshi's voice much more than
himself. I think Toshi couldn't endure that situation any more. We had
been working together for a long time, so that sometimes we had the
time when the things were not going well or we got tired, or we had a
quarrel. But at that time I could understand that Toshi was completely
different. Toshi was not whom I had known. He was a different person
as before.
T: What did you feel when your band broke up?
Y: First, we have to find a new vocalist. then how and when would we
announce it? And how about the last concert? We decided we would come
back in 2000. Until then we would make new songs. So... we were very
positive at that time.
N: YOSHIKI had been trying to do his best as the leader of X Japan.
YOSHIKI put his faith in hide both mentally and musically.
After hide's death, YOSHIKI disappeared from all of the front stage.
He left Japan and lived in LA alone.
Y: hide is one year older than I am, but sometimes he was like my
younger brother and sometimes like my mother. He was very precise.
When we were young, I always shared the room with hide at the hotel
during our tour. hide always asked me was I hungry. I'm the leader of
X Japan, but I was mischievous. I push ahead everything, then the other
members followed. About hide's death, I couldn't understand what had
happened. Soon after I heard about hide's death, I came back to Tokyo
from LA, and I knew many fans got shocked and were depressed about his
death. In fact there were some people who committed suiside following
hide. I had to encourage them before I comprehended about his death
for myself.
N: Did your plan of the revival in 2000 extinguish at that moment?
Y: Yes, it did. At that time I didn't even remember that we had such a
plan. I hadn't understand the reality. My father died when I was a
child and I also couldn't understand the fact at that time. It took
time for me to comprehend what had happened. After hide's death, I
couldn't get any interview for about 2 years. I didn't want to play in
front of the people, but I'm a musician so that I intended to become
just a producer or a composer. Generally speaking, everyone has both
self-confidence and insecurity. I always had 50.05% self-confidence
and 49.95% insecurity, therefore I could have pushed my way. But my
self-confidence became less than my insecurity after hide's death. I
couldn't think everything would be going well.
N: Then YOSHIKI went to LA and never showed up in front of us. What
did you do during that period?
Y: It's really hard for me to make a song. It's like a childbirth. But
I am always helped by the songs I made when I am depressed. I make
songs for not only to release but also for myself. I usually make
songs like my diary. I made the song just after hide's death. It was a
ballad, and I expressed my feeling honestly to that song, then it
became too sad song. I was totally shocked by that song. It has not
been released yet. I brought tears to my eyes when I just heard the
name of "hide" or "X Japan". I couldn't work for myself, I could work
only for the other musician. I was surprised at myself. I thought I
could recover as time passed. I couldn't believe the fact that I
couldn't recover for such a long time.
N: Then about 2 years after hide's death, YOSHIKI appeared in front of
us at last. It was the stage for the Emperor. He was asked to make a
memorial song of 10 years anniversary of enthronement for the Emperor.
Y: When I first heard that request, I'm not sure I could do it because
I had not make songs for myself for almost 2 years. Then I asked my
mother's advice. My mother said I should accept the proposal. The
Emperor's 10 years overlapped with my own period. There were not only
happiness but also sorrow or pain in those 10 years. Then my own
feelings came out to the melodies. When I played Anniversary on piano
in front of the audience, especially in front of the Emperor and
Empress, I was very strained. I could hear a cheer which is exactly
same as the one for X Japan. I was surprised and very happy to hear
such a cheer. I'm so happy to know that they don't forget me and
realized that they still support me. Then I began to think I was going
to be on the stage again. In addition, I got a lot of fan letter from
not only Japan but also all over the world. I was shocked by that fact,
I mean a good shock. They became X Japan's fans after its break up. I
often say music has no border, and music is eternal. It was proved in
some meaning. I have been supported by many fans. I was very happy to
hear that they would wait indefinitely. Then I started writing
melodies and then I started recording since last year. I have already
made about 70 songs. Regarding editing of X Japan FilmGIG, it was very hard for me to do
that. I had a tough time. I cried each time even I watched film for so
many times. But I feel like my mind becomes clean by the tears, and I
think I can get over the walls. I'm sure I can get over the wall
spiritually. Violet UK is, so to speak, an extension of X Japan.
X Japan is my life
so I have to go on. I think it depends on the future whether the past
is good or not. If I try to make my future glorious, my past becomes
also glorious. So... I would like to realize my wishes which I
couldn't do as X Japan. I would like to go into the world stage.
T: Where does your energy come from? What makes you keep going?
Y: I have a dream so I only aim to realize my dream. In addition, I am
still living now after although I got shocks so many times these four
years. So I try to live thoroughly. It's a kind of mission. I don't
have anything scared as before. I will try to release my new project
Violet UK world-wide in fall, or maybe in winter.
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