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‘After getting over the loss of his best friend, he was able to see
his mission in life’
Interviewer. Ototake Hirotada (author of GOTAIFUMANZOKU, and more...)
As an artist, producer and manager... 8 years after his legendary
break up concert... and after 15 years in the work... his position for
global success---- 'Throwing away my own work'
O: First of all, would you mind giving your Japanese fans a short
update on what you are up to?
Y: After a long time in the works, this Autumn I will be releasing the
album for my new unit, called [VIOLET UK]. I guess that’s the latest
news update.
O: Have you already finished recording?
Y: Almost, because I’ve been working on this project for 10 years.
O: In various articles I've seen, you have said that you paid
PARTICULAR attention to the sound. But, 10 years is an unusual amount
of time, isn’t it. What did you spend most time on?
Y: I guess it was the fact that I couldn’t make a product that I was
completely satisfied with. I think, usually artists think that their
product is “cute/cool”.. or they fall in love with their own product.
However, in my case I look at my work very critically and take things
out. Therefore, I write and then throw away, write more and throw away…
and this continues over and over again.
O: I see. So that’s what made you take 10 years?
Y: But, now I am trying my best to be able to think that, it was
because of that tough time I spent that I was able to make this
product. If I don’t think like that, there’s no way I would have been
able to keep going with it (laughs).
O: I also have times when I can’t write something the way I want. But
in my case I give up and go to sleep. In Yoshiki’s case, what happens?
Y: Well I do sleep, but even while I’m dreaming I’m still composing
songs!
O: Hahahaha, its like an illness.
Y: Even when I try and watch TV, or when I try and do anything, I’m
always thinking about the music.
O: Its tough isn’t it.
Y: I guess I’m the self-motivated type.
O: But, it must make you excited to be challenging a hurdle such as
this, now as an artist again.
Y: Yes, it does. In the past, I severely ruined my body because of
that though.
O: You are an artist and a producer, and you have many other sides,
however, which side do feel suits you most?
Y: I dislike all sides of myself. What I mean by dislike, is that none
of them exactly suit me. I mean, I still don’t feel a sense of
accomplishment. On the contrary, maybe that is also why I can keep on
doing what I do. Usually, whatever I do I think about music, and there
is an image that I am fighting with inside of me.
O: In the days of X, which side of you came out the most?
Y: I think that everyone saw me as an artist, but I thought of myself
really more as a producer.
O: So after all, how X was seen and how the albums were released and
sold was your biggest role?
Y: That started already once the members had been decided.
O: Was it a matter of deciding which members would fit the concept?
Y: Yes that’s right. I wanted great members. Our members other than
Toshi were all leaders. They all had their own bands. So, I got
together members that one would never have dream of all being in the
one band.
O: I did some reading in preparation for this interview, and I was
surprised to learn that before your debut you were actually appearing
on a comedy variety TV show.
Y: I thought that appearing on that type of program would make people
have ill feelings towards us. But that sort of thing actually served
as a type of energy for us.
O: The courage and flexibility of your decision was amazing, I think.
And as a result, you succeeded. When reading about that episode, I
thought that is when Yoshiki’s real talent as a producer first
surfaced.
Y: Thank you very much. Also, I think its because I had self
confidence. Because I had self confidence, I thought ‘it doesn’t
matter what other people think of me’. No matter what I did, it was
because I had the music inside of me that I was able to do anything I
wanted.
O: That was about 20 years ago right?
Y: hmmm, 16-17 years ago.
O: Does it feel like a long time ago now?
Y: I think it can be both. I can think of it as just yesterday, and at
the same time I can think of it as a long time ago. Its strange.
“My rival was every aspect of the entertainment world”
O: At the same time was there a band that you were particularly aware
of? A band who you felt, ‘I don’t want to lose to them!’, or something
like that?
Y: More than just a band, I was conscious of the entertainment
industry. At that time doing Rock music and appearing on TV were like
two separate worlds. After debuting, we were told by the recording
company, ‘There’s no reason for you to appear on TV.’ They said, ‘The
moment a rock band appears on TV, that’s the end of them’. So I
thought ‘Then I definitely want be on TV!’
O: Hahaha, so you thought I’m going to show them!
Y: Yes, exactly. If that was to be the end of us, then so be it.
However, we succeeded though, as you know.
O: Yes, you certainly destroyed many of the norms didn’t you (laughs)
Y: Hahaha
O: Furthermore, I was totally shocked to learn that when you are
recording a song, for 3 days straight you had a program of what time
you slept, woke up, what time you ate your meals, how long you spent
eating those meals, how much carbohydrate intake you would have etc… I
know it sounds rude to say this at our first encounter, but that’s
extreme isn’t it.
Y: Yep, it is extreme (laughs). But, the recording period only happens
once, and then that period remains for the rest of your life, it can
be listened to forever. Therefore, even if you have to put everything
on hold for that period, I think of it as being able to devote myself
completely to making the BEST product that I can.
O: Isn’t it tough though?
Y: After all, I think it is because I want to release my best work. It
doesn’t matter what happens to my body, I want to spread wonderful
music. So even if its tough, I still do it.
O: Your effort continually causes destruction, moves and impresses us,
but I think that you look tired (smiles). It’s like a thorny path isn’t
it?
Y: You’re right, I am tired.
O: Whatever happens, once you make your decision, you cut off all
escape routes and lose all excuses. dont you..
Y: That’s right. Maybe I’m searching for happiness.
O: Don’t you ever consider settling down?
Y: Often. But my mind changes though. It feels like there’s a battle
going on inside of me, 51% wants stability and 49% doesn’t.
“On the subject of his intention to get married: “Its a swaying 1%”
O: For example, I think that marriage is the most stabilizing factor
in one’s life. However in a lifestyle such as Yoshiki’s, I think that
marriage is not…
Y: No (Yoshiki interrupts the interviewer), I want to get married!
O: What?! Really?
Y: But, I also don’t want to get married!
O: That was a shock! I see…(laughs)
Y: But the difference is only about 1%, so in my mind it changes
everyday.
O: Ok, so if Yoshiki was to get married in the future, I guess one
might say that the ‘swaying 1%’ would make 51% of you that is indeed
looking for stability.
Y: Mmm, then.. I’d think ‘Ahh, I’ve made a mistake’… or something like
that (hahaha)
O: Up until now you’ve never had the right timing to get married, have
you?
Y: I have. I’ve thought about getting married many times, but at the
end I got cold feet.
O: So I guess that [A stable happy Yoshiki] is something that you
yourself couldn’t imagine?
Y: There’s that too, but I also felt sorry for whoever it is that
would end up as my wife.
O: I see. You’d be 30 minutes late for dinner and if there was no
carbohydrate with the meal you would snap, right?
Y: No no, I’m pretty kind.
O: Really? I’m relieved. I guess timing wise its certainly sensitive
at the moment.
Y: Well, I do want children. Aahh, I can have children without getting
married still can’t I? (Haha)
O: Oh, such dangerous words (haha). By the way, compared to when you
first debuted what do you think has changed in you the most?
Y: The way I value life. That has completely changed. Since hide
passed away I really felt “I have to live on”. Even though I still
have a destructive side, I think maybe that has deviated 1%. In the
past I thought [I don’t care when I die]. I thought that I was the one
that was going to die first, so in many ways I was shocked. Now I
think [I lived, so I feel responsible].
O: What you just said gave me shivers down my spine.
Y: I guess that’s an element of life.
O: I think it’s a huge change for a person who in past interviews has
said , ‘I’m always prepared for death’
Y: I still have that feeling inside of me but I think that is now the
49% part. Now I think that as long as I’m still alive I want to give
everything my best.
O: At the present you think like that, but after hide had just passed
away is there not a time when you thought ‘I might as well die like
this’?
Y: Yes there was. But then there were lots of fans who felt lost and
were in pain thinking ‘I want to follow hide’, so at that time I
thought ‘I must live on’!
O: So in other words, it was the fans sadness and confusion that was
Yoshiki’s drive to keep going, wasn’t it..
Y: That’s right.
O: So if it weren’t for the fact that you wanted to help the mourning
fans, you might have ended your life at that time?
Y: Ye…Yes that’s right.
O: How long did it take for you to fully accept hide’s death?
Y: After he died I wrote a song called [WITHOUT YOU]. I think I
started to accept it while writing this song. While I was writing the
song I became worn out, and at one stage I was so overcome by the
tears that I couldn't play the keyboard. At that point I became
extremely negative and thought to myself "What should I do?".
O: So what made you decide to come back to the stage once more?
Y: Its really so wonderful but, things like letters I got from fans,
and people saying “I’ll be waiting for you till the end”, “I want to
see your drumming again!”, “I want to see you smiling on stage once
more!”. After hearing things like this I sort of became more positive
and thought ‘That’s it! I’m going to do it!’
O: Although the two are complete opposites, I think its very
interesting that you say there were times where you didn’t care what
happened at all, and then you say you finally got back your positive
attitude thanks to the wonderful support of your fans. I know it was a
tough time to go through, but it was also probably a very important
time as well.
Y: It was because hide and I were in the entertainment world that
there was so much fuss made about it, but people usually feel the same
way when a family member or close friend passes away. I’m the only one
who experiences sadness, and I just thought really negatively about
how different people all follow different paths. Then when I thought
to myself ‘I wonder what my life is right now?’, I thought, this is
not the time to be sad.
O: Such deep sadness…Even though I know you had many tough times, you
really fought on hard didn’t you? I guess after you became completely
worn out and rising above everything, your outlook on life began to
change, didn’t it?
Y: Yes that’s right. But you know, I’m still fighting hard even now!
‘A Pianist and Karate?!’
O: In Japan, people often think things like ‘Rock stars are this age…’,
and ‘Why are grown men still doing things like this?’ Since you’ve
already completely destroyed all the norms up until now, I hope you
can destroy this attitude too!
Y: I’m not concerned at all by age. In fact, I would go as far as
saying there are some things in me that have gone completely the other
way (laughs)
O: In Japan there’s also this attitude that once you grow old you also
become uncool. However, there are lots of ‘old’ musicians who are
still cool. So, I really hope that Yoshiki will become like that.
Y: Well actually I started doing karate about 1 year ago, and everyone
said to me ‘Why are starting things like this now?’. And lots of
people were against it... But...
O: Yes…?
Y: I’ve made another goal for myself..
O: What kind of goal?
Y: To go in a tournament
O: Really?!
Y: You don’t think I should?
O: No, go please go ahead. But, please let come along if you go in a
tournament!
Y: Yes, please do!
O: Hahaha! Yoshiki, you’re the best!
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